Can you recall the most memorable wedding ceremony you’ve attended? What made it unforgettable? I bet the one that you are recalling is the one with the most compelling wedding vows exchange.
You listened attentively as the couple read their own personal wedding vows to one another, promising how they would love each other for the rest of their lives.
The reason the wedding vows exchange is so impactful during the wedding ceremony is because personal wedding vows capture what’s special about your unique relationship as well as your personal feelings about the person you have fallen head over heels in love with. There’s no better way to start your marriage off on the right foot than with your own personal words of promise.
But many engaged couples stumble over writing their vows. Some get writer’s block from just thinking about it. What to say and how to say it can be overwhelming especially when there’s so much emotion involved so I’m going to arm you with some tips to get you going in the right direction.
You can ensure that your wedding vows are a crowd-pleaser by avoiding three common mistakes.
Mistake #1 - Oversharing
Your wedding vows should be fueled by your love story, otherwise, why write your own? In fact, I even coach you how to do this in my, "How to Write Wedding Vows That Wow Start-to-Finish Guide and Workbook," but there are some things that need to be kept private. “TMI” wasn’t invented without reason!
Use your own judgment on what’s appropriate to share in the intimate setting of your wedding ceremony. Some things in the oversharing category include going on and on about relationship stories. It’s great to share a personal story, but there’s a limit. You’ll want to share your story clearly and concisely and then move on. Also, don’t tell or reference inappropriate jokes and leave your inside jokes for another time.
Mistake #2 — Making them up on the spot or leaving them until the last minute
If you choose to write your own vows, you, in essence, have indicated that these words are important to you and represent more than simple sentences on a piece of paper. They are the building blocks of your marriage. As such, you need ample time to write a first draft and revise it to make sure your vows reflect your heartfelt thoughts and feelings. Think about your partner who you will be saying your vows to. You would want him or her to deeply feel all the intent you put into your vows.
Any good speechwriter will tell you that they start on their draft months prior to the big day. Why? Because they need time to write, write some more, edit and finalize. That’s the difference between an amateur and a professional. Which do you want to be on your wedding day?
Mistake #3 —Leave your improv routine for another time
Your partner has come to know you and fall in love with you. You surely don’t want to freak him or her out at the altar with a comedy schtick that’s completely out of left field. And remember all those people out there listening in? This is the time to rise to the occasion and be your best self. Here's a quick tip from my course "How to Write Wedding Vows that Wow"...
Write your wedding vows as if you were talking to your friend because that’s your voice! Nothing is put on and your true personality will shine!
The long-lasting benefits of writing your own wedding vows is totally worth overcoming any overwhelm that you may be feeling. Take an afternoon and devote a few hours to brainstorming all the reasons why you love your soon-to-be spouse. Once you have your loving sentiments on paper, you’re halfway there and if you need additional guidance — a personal wedding vows writing coach if you will — my personal wedding vows writing guide and workbook is just a click away!
Kristen Rocco is the professional love storyteller and wedding writer of Love Notery. Putting her professional background as an interviewer and writer to work, she created Love Notery to help engaged couples capture their love stories in the beautiful words they deserve to share on their wedding day and treasure as a wedding heirloom for generations. Her wedding vows writing course exclusively designed to help engaged couples from start to finish write heartfelt and meaningful personal wedding vows is now available at www.lovenotery.com/howtowriteweddingvows.